you are what you've always been

a smile twists up

not down

when you make me smile

my feet lift off the ground

. . .

An emptiness

tears away at the soul

It leaves me nothing

It leaves me not whole.

///

a little hope
never hurt anyone
not even the pope
but why am i
so scared to believe
the idea there is a chance
that all this may weave
into something wonderful
something lovely
and something so unfathomable
but thats it
there's my problem!
it doesn't seem reasonable
why would i...
the girl with bad luck
no charm
and not even a golden star to my name
why should i declare even the slightest hope
that this is fair game
but then i hear his voice again
he tells me
"emily, stop being lame
i gave you your voice
and i gave you your name.
dry your tears
and come
you know there are others who feel just the same
strength and courage is what you have
don't tell me it isn't so
hell, i built you...
i'm the one who makes it snow!
you've lost hope and i'll make you strong again
so sit back and calm down.
you're in for a show"

complexity

How much more simple can this be?

It's either them or it's me

Never us, never we.

It's something that I can never see.

I write this out in despair

in lost hope

What was lost?

It was me.

oh well.

a lovely
festering
insanely
demanding
upsetting
wonderful
and yet
depressing
feeling
built
up
inside
deep 
down
where it
lingers
and
bothers you
for 
what
seems 
to be
an
e t e r n i t y
can't 
focus
can't 
sleep
can't do
a single
thing
right
yet
somehow
perfectly
content
with 
the world
crashing
to 
pieces
this 
feeling
is 
much
better
than 
reality.

the perfect dream

effortlessly, without thought

my eyes closed

and like a movie theater

the curtains rose

and then

. there  .  you  .   were .

homeless.

where to begin?

i'm breaking within

i'm tearing, ripping away at the seams

i'm becoming undone

i'm becoming unseen

little is left of me

little is known

i've forgotten where i come

i've forgotten what to call home

there is no safe place

there is no place to breath

everywhere i go

is not my place to be